Who's REALLY Mrs Prower?
by Hypo Prower
Summary: Cosmo's free, Cream's slipped from the Chaotix, Marine's back from adventuring and Fiona's forgiven Tails, which can only mean one thing: a sequel to Who's Mrs. Prower!
1. Deja Vu

The dank, dark cell inside SS Penitentiary was nothing compared to the beautiful outdoors of Station Square itself. Cosmo breathed in and breathed out as deeply as she could, sniffing the cool spring breeze for the first time in two months. Yes, it had taken the stupid cops that long to realize that she was just hyped up on caffeine, not any sort of illegal substance. The alien then had one single thought that popped up her mind…

Cream was relieved. She had finally gotten rid of the crocodile, chameleon and bee that had "kept her safe and innocent" from the outside world. She told Charmy that there were cookies (in Toledo), Espio that the Secret Society of Ninja Chameleons needed a president (in Beijing) and that Vector had a 1 million dollar case waiting for him (in…Canada). The rabbit breathed in and breathed out the spring air as deeply as she could; she was sick of being holed up in a tiny agency. Suddenly one single thought popped in her head…

Fiona finally unbolted her door and stepped outside. The fresh spring air felt like heaven to her nostrils, erasing every thought that she was thinking. In fact, she couldn't even remember why she had locked herself up in the first place. Was it because some guy had upset her? Nah, that couldn't be it. The fox blinked as a single thought ran through her head…

Marine stepped off the SS Marine for the first time in two months. She had finished exploring her surroundings in her dimension and was ready for some R&R in the dimension Station Square was located in. The fresh spring breeze made her slightly miss the sea breeze, but she was still pleasantly satisfied. Suddenly, she remembered where she had left off; a single thought popped into her mind…

_Miles Prower!_

"Aa-CHOO!"

Tails sneezed as he took a breather from working on his biplane, the Tornado 2. He looked around hurriedly, but he could sense no one that was talking about him. He grew a sly expression.

"Huh, everybody's takin' shots at me today, let's see what Sonic says after get a hold of him…"

The fox decided to suspend working on the plane for the afternoon. He gathered his tools together and went inside his condo to take a shower and wash the grease off his orange fur. Tails was rather enjoying himself when he had a sneaking suspicion that someone was near.

Tails cautiously poked his head out his shower curtain and saw a pair of big, brown eyes staring at him.

"GAH! CREAM!!"

Tails shrieked as he grabbed a towel and hurriedly wrapped it around his waist. He glared at the rabbit as he opened his window. "What in Mobius is wrong with you?!"

Cream gave the fox a very innocent look. "What are you talking about, Tails?" she asked in her sweet voice. "I was just wondering if you were home."

"So you peeped into my SHOWER?!"

Cream's huge eyes turned even larger as she grew a worried expression. "I didn't know that you were in a shower, Tails. I'm very, very sorry."

Tails sighed. "OK. There's a key under my mat. Wait in my living room and I'll be down in a second."

After the rabbit disappeared, Tails wore a perplexed expression as he toweled off. _What the heck? I thought the Chaotix were keeping her safe from my evil advantage-taking ways._

Just as promised, when Tails arrived down to the living room, Cream was waiting for him, cute as a button. When she noticed his arrival, she jumped up and skipped over to him. "Hi Tails!" she greeted for the first time in a long time. "Would you please like to hang out today?"

The kitsune blinked twice before answering. "I have to do something with Sonic."

"Aw. Are you SURE?"

By now Cream's face was just inches from Tails'. Her breath smelled sweet, like candy. _Yeah, that's probably all the Chaotix could afford to feed her,_ he realized. However, before Cream could get any closer, there was a knock on Tails' door.

"Coming!" he announced, sliding past Cream and making a mad break for the door. _Please be Sonic please be Sonic please be Sonic please be---_

"Hey there stranger!"

Tails swung the door open only to nearly collide with Fiona. The two fox's eyes met, both blue and sparkly as the ocean. For a split second, Tails could remember why his crush was still kinda lasting on the red fox. Then he backed away and remembered exactly what happened on their last…encounter.

"Er, hey Fio," he greeted. "I thought that you were still…mad?"

Fiona brushed her spiky crimson hair out of her face. "Nope. I remember now that it wasn't your fault what happened. It was mine! I was the one that ate all the candy!"

Inwardly, Tails face-palmed. _Ah fudge._

Behind him, Cream was fuming because she was realizing what was going on. "You jerk!" she squealed in her high pitched voice as she scrambled for—and proceeded to tackle—Fiona Fox.

Tails stood back and watched. Wow. He never knew chick fights could get so intense.

It was only when two other figures were seen racing down his street that the fox could tear his gaze from the fight. Tails squinted and suddenly realized exactly WHO was racing down the street: Marine Raccoon and Cosmo.

"What the-?!"

The two tackled Tails' small front yard at the exact same time, Marine taking out the mailbox. "I got here first!" he both screamed in unison. Fiona and Cream stopped fighting long enough to realize what was going on, and both stood up.

"Hey! Back off, chicks Tails is MINE!" Fiona spat, her tail frizzing out protectively. Marine gave her a menacing glare.

"Na mate, yer the drongo 'o needs ta back off! Hear me out, Tails is MOINE!"

Cosmo growled. "Nu-uh! We were about to really fall in love before I had to save a planet! He's already MINE!"

Cream barred her perfect white teeth. "Nope! We've been through enough adventures with Sonic to know that he's MINE!"

Suddenly, all four ladies crowded around Tails and grabbed a tuft of his muzzle. "Well?! Who is it?!"

Tails' eye twitched as he let out a sheepish smile. _Déjà vu…_


	2. The Solution

Tails shuddered under the irritated gaze of the four ladies he had somehow attracted. He smiled sheepishly as his gaze flickered to the angry faces of Fiona, Cream, Cosmo and Marine.

"Er, how about before I answer that question, you guys back up a little?"

"Stop stalling!" Fiona ordered. "We've been through the stupid competition thing and you still didn't choose like you promised! What was up with that?!"

"Correction," Tails pointed out. "The person who won ended up not wanting a boyfriend."

"Are ya talkin' about me?" Marine asked. "Well guess what, oi've changed my mind. I want a bladdy boyfriend!" The raccoon pirate smiled triumphantly. "I win by default!"

Tails twitched his ear. "Er, no. It, um…expired?"

"Ha ha!" Cosmo grinned from ear to ear (or whatever she has). "See? That means Tails wants to keep his options open. It's quite obvious I'm the one he wants." The alien looked deep into the fox's eyes. "Remember the love we shared?"

"I moved on." Tails tried to be nice yet blunt. Cosmo's reaction was less than satisfied.

It wasn't long before all the girls broke into another argument, insults being hurled back and forth. Tails then realized that he was still standing on his door step. Trying to be as stealthy as he could, he backed away slowly and slammed the door behind him.

The fox exhaled slowly and slid down his door and buried his face in his gloved palms. "This. Isn't. Going. Well." He looked up at his ceiling and tried to think of something—ANYTHING—that could please everyone. The only problem was that in this situation, there was no pleasing everybody.

Seconds turned into minutes as Tails racked his brain for ideas. What could he do? He could move to Toledo. Yeah, there we go. Then he gulped as he realized that there would probably be a new flock of fangirls there to pester him.

Suddenly, everything came to him. There WAS a way he could please everyone! Obviously there was someone out there for everyone, and if there was only one of him and four girls, he wasn't the one for everyone. All he would have to do is find someone out there who would love every single one of those psychos!

The fox jumped up and yanked the door open, much to the surprise of the four girls standing there.

"What?" Cream said confusingly. "He slipped away without us knowing?"

Trying to be calm and quiet, Tails cleared his throat. "OK, everyone, listen up."

Marine raised her hand. "Are we gonna be here fer yonks on end? If so, oi need some food."

"No." Tails face-palmed inwardly. Was he really that boring? "Anyway, I think I've come up with a solution to this problem." He smiled widely. "I'm taking everyone to an unknown location of my choice! And there, we'll…uh…do stuff!" _And hopefully find your one true love…_

Fiona clapped happily. "Yay!! Can we go to Paris? Or maybe France…"

"Paris IS in France," Cosmo pointed out. That didn't damper the red fox's enthusiasm though.

"'ey mate, when are we gonna start this lil' excursion of ours?" Marine asked curiously.

Tails stood blankly in his doorway for a moment. "As soon as I use my computer." Then he slammed the door shut.

Later that day, Tails was finally done creating four profiles on eHarmony for every one of his followers. A thought ran through his mind: _Isn't this sort of mean?_ Then as he noticed how many hits each of the girls were getting, he reconsidered: _Naaah!!_

**A/N: I mean to do one of these last chapter but I didn't get around to it…anyway, this is my first attempt at a stable story since my downfall in the middle of last month. And by the number of reviews I'm getting I guess it's working out OK. I'd appreciate niceness and no flaming (though I doubt anyone will, better safe than sorry!). Oh and I guess I should throw this in there: I don't own Sonic. There.**


	3. Well That Was Easy

It was morning again, the next day, in fact. Tails yawned and stretched as he finally got around to pouring a cup of coffee he had made. He couldn't help but make a small mental note to never, EVER give Cosmo coffee. Again.

The fox set his mug down on the computer desk as he got on his computer. It wasn't long before he was navigated to eHarmony. Actually, it was a long time. _Stupid dial-up…_ he thought with irritation.

Finally, after a long 45 seconds, the eHarmony front page loaded. Tails took a sip of his coffee as he thought about who he should take a trip with first. Should it be Cream, Cosmo, Fiona or Marine? Well, Marine would most likely flip when she stepped one foot on an airplane, so she was doomed to be last. He realized that Fiona would be upset if she wasn't picked first. OK, foxy lady was the first 'lucky' one.

Tails logged into her account.

_Username: __**Fio_Fio12**_

_Password: __**hotfox**_

Tails blushed as he typed in Fiona's password. He didn't still think of her that way, did he? No. Not after she up-chucked on him.

After waiting another minute and taking sips of his coffee, Fiona's profile was brought up. The orange fox nearly choked on his beverage as he saw that Fiona had received over 129 replies. He could see why, though…she was pretty attractive. Tails decided he should just click on the first person that watched her.

When the page brought up a fat hippo that looked like a girl, Tails turned red and clicked on the NEXT person.

He didn't bother looking at the picture, the name was proof enough it was a guy: **Vermilli-Flame2**. So…green flames? Good enough. Tails noticed that the watcher was online at the moment, and decided to start chatting with him.

**Fio_Fio12: **Hey handsome, what's up?

**Vermilli-Flame2: **Hey girl, you lookin' fine!!

**Fio_Fio12: **Well, you don't look bad yourself, big boy.

**Vermilli-Flame2: **(whistles) Well, looks like everything's been cleared up, right? You forgive me?

**Fio_Fio12:** Forgive you? For what?

**Vermilli-Flame2: **Um…nothing, I guess. So, where do you wanna meet up?

Tails was taken aback by the last message. The guy barely knew Fiona and he already wanted to meet up with him? Then he remembered that Fiona would likely pester him every second of the day if he didn't get rid of her soon. _Sounds good to me, _he thought as he kept typing.

**Fio_Fio12: **Are you sure we should meet up so soon?

**Vermilli-Flame2: **Sure, Fio, there's nothin' to worry about. How about the mall?

**Fio_Fio12: **You mean the mall in Station Square?

**Vermilli-Flame2: **No, the mall on Mars. Of course in SS! Where else??

Tails was confused again as he looked at the guy's location. It said Station Square. That just added to the fact that this guy was perfect for Fiona. He was obviously attracted to her…apparently caring about some unknown forgiveness…plus he was close.

**Fio_Fio12: **OK, but if you try to mug me, I'm calling the cops.

**Vermilli-Flame2: **Don't be ridiculous! Is 11am tomorrow OK? We can grab some grub.

**Fio_Fio12: **That's fine. See you soon, handsome.

With that, Vermilli logged off. _Probably finding something to wear, _Tails realized. He logged out too and drank the rest of his coffee. He rested his feet on the computer desk as he gazed out the window.

_This is great! I won't have to spend money on two plane tickets, and when I introduce this guy to Fiona she's going to be stoked. I just wonder who exactly this guy is…guess I'll find out tomorrow._

After Tails went upstairs to brush his teeth and comb his mussed up fur, he grabbed his cell and dialed Fiona's number. The phone didn't ring twice before the red fox picked up.

"Hey sweetie!" she said casually. Tails sweat-dropped as he realized that Fiona thought they were still dating.

"Er…hey, girl," he said as casually as he could. "Would you mind going to the mall with me tomorrow around, say, 11am?"

Tails had to hold the receiver away from his ear as Fiona squealed. "Of course!! That would be FANTASTIC! I'll see you tomorrow!" With that, she excitedly hung up without saying goodbye.

_Well that's a start,_ Tails noted as he ended the call and set the phone down. He sighed, knowing he would need lots of preparation for tomorrow.

**A/N: OK, I know this was rather short, but the next chapter will be longer, I promise. Oh, and I just noticed that it's right around finals time and probably not the best time for me to start a new story. Ah well, you guys are forgiving, right? In any case, next chapter will most likely be pretty late because I'll need a miracle to pull out a good Algebra grade.**


	4. Malls, Scourge and Subway

Tails looked anxiously around the mall, which was crowded with tons of people. That wasn't out of the ordinary. He looked at his watch. It read 10:59 and 48 seconds. Of course, his watch was the most precise out there and it even told seconds. Why? Well duh, he was cool like that.

As soon as his watch sang a small tone to indicate that it was officially 11 o'clock, Tails turned slightly to his right to notice Fiona's enthusiastic face. "Hi hi!" she sang, grasping him in a bear hug. "What are we gonna do at the mall today??"

_Eesh, breaking up with Scourge apparently didn't go so well, _Tails noted as he wriggled free of Fiona's hug. "Er, well, how about we get some lunch?"

"OK!"

Tails couldn't help but think that it hadn't been too long ago that the red fox had slapped him clear across the face and sent him flying. Ah well, that was water under the bridge. Now, where was that Vermilli guy?

Fiona pointed to the Subway bar in the food court. "Hey, how about a five dollar footlong? You're paying, right? That's good since I'm broke." Without another word, she bounded across to the mini-restaurant.

Tails stared as she went. _I didn't even say anything._

Reluctantly, the twin-tailed fox shuffled into the Subway line next to his 'date'. He stared around at all the people at the tables. There HAD to be that eHarmony guy somewhere. Unless he was a 75-year-old stalker who just wanted to know where Fiona lived…

_Oh fudge._ Tails' eyes stopped dead when he spotted none other than Scourge Hedgehog relaxing at a table and sucking on a smoothie. He slowly turned back to the Subway line and prayed that the green hedgehog wouldn't notice Fiona today. That would just get her angsty.

"Welcome to Subway!"

The sandwich maker person's greeting snapped Tails from his thoughts. He studied the cheerful gaze of the cashier before realizing where he was. "And what can I get for you today?" the lady in her mid-twenties asked cheerfully.

"Oh, right, a foot long Italian Herbs and Cheese," Tails said automatically. He always got the exact same thing every time he came here. He noticed that Fiona had already gotten done with her sub and was waiting for him. She was slurping down a Coke.

_Oh great, drinks are extra,_ Tails realized. Then he turned his attention back to the eager person behind the plastic guard. "Oh, right, uh, Spicy Italian, please," he said. Then, much to his horror, he saw that Scourge had seen Fiona. Luckily, vice versa had not occurred yet.

"Mozzarella, toasted, honey mustard and pickles," Tails recited to the cashier before slipping over to Fiona. He had to keep her distracted.

"H-hey, muffin cakes." Inwardly, Tails face-palmed. _Ah geez, where the heck did THAT come from?_

Fiona, however, loved it. "Hey cutie!" she squealed. "I'm so glad we're going out to lunch together. We can discuss where we're going for our romantic get-away!"

Tails turned back to the cashier to pay for the food but still chatted with Fiona. She COULD NOT see Scourge today. "Er, yeah, about that. I was thinking, and I…"

"Hey babe."

Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Fiona and Scourge locked eyes. The green hedgehog smiled seductively under his red sunglasses. Fiona stared at him in awe. Then, the red fox began to lift her hand, as if to stroke Scourge's cheek, but instead smacked him clear across the face and sent him flying across the food court.

Tails could just gawk.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Fiona screamed at him. "How DARE you come here to try to interrupt my lunch! How dare you even try to show your face to me!"

"What, you're with HIM now?!" Scourge said confusingly. He stood up shakily from getting smacked. "I thought you hated him! I thought he was a shorty!"

Fiona crossed her arms. "C'mon, Tails. Let's go find a table AWAY from this green trash."

Tails thought for a moment. Green. Vermilli. Which was, of course, short for vermillion. And Scourge wore flames on his jacket. Ah, crud.

"Hey, hey, wait!" Scourge called back. "You got some kinda nerve, telling me that you'd meet me here then come and ditch!"

Fiona turned her head to face him, both irritation and confusion sparking her blue eyes. "What the heck are you talking about? I never told you I would meet you here."

"Sure you did," Scourge replied, happy he was getting somewhere. "On eHarmony, remember?"

Tails wished a black hole would just swallow him up right then and there.

"eHarmony?" Fiona was getting even more irritated. "You mean that dating site for losers who can't score dates in real life? Sounds like somewhere you would go."

Scourge sighed. "OK. OK. I'm a loser. I was really selfish for trying to sell you out to Mammoth Mogul. But I really need to be with you again!" The green hedgehog glared romantically into Fiona's eyes. "Will you take this loser back?"

Fiona shifted her gaze from Tails to Scourge, and then back again. "Well…OK!"

_WHAT?!?_ Tails' mind screamed.

Fiona winked at the orange fox. "You keep being adorable, OK? You'll score one of those other girls." Then, the red fox took Scourge's hand in hers, and the two ran away into the sunset. Well, it was really McDonald's golden arches, but who was keeping track?

Tails could just gawk.

**A/N: OK, I KNOW this is waaay late. I swear I meant to write it last week. However, my grandma's house got hit pretty bad by a storm and we had to go help her clear out her yard. My exams are almost done…for now. They'll pick up again in two weeks when it's the last week of school, but until then, I'm going to try to be more on the ball. Thanks for sticking around!**


	5. EspiBaby

"Oh daaaannnggg…."

Tails could just stare at all the watchers that were flocking to Cream's profile. The fox slunk back in his computer chair and gawked at the 1500 watchers.

After what had happened at the mall the previous day, Tails had gone home and thought the whole idea through. Was it really fair to make Fiona hook up with Scourge? The two had hated each other just a week ago, and now because of some screw-ball idea the hedgehog and vixen had flounced off together on some McDonald's induced honeymoon. What was THAT all about?!

Still, it got Fiona off of Tails' back. And THAT was something he couldn't argue with.

This time, though, he would have to be extra careful. He couldn't just hook poor, innocent Cream up with some weirdo. No, he had to know exactly who she was running off with.

So when 1500 watchers had appeared on Cream's eHarmony profile, Tails couldn't help but slump back and stare at the amount of nerds and stalkers he had to sift through.

Taking a deep breath, the fox leaned forward and grabbed his mouse. His sapphire gaze scanned the first batch of names. OK, there was NO way Cream was going to date "Micheal_Jackson113". Nor was she dating "FootLicker2".

Tails began to get bored as he looked through the names, but finally came across one that he thought would be alright. "Lilac_Chamelenin" was lucky number 77. Well, lilac was purple, and 'chamelenin' was a mash of 'chameleon' and 'ninja', and there was only one person he could think of that fit the description.

When Tails clicked on Espio's profile, he musingly noticed that his location was Beijing, China. How did that happen? Also, Espio was online. Perfect. Now he could chat with him.

_**Creamy-Buns has entered chat.**_

Creamy-Buns. Ha! Tails thought that the username was very clever.

**Creamy-Buns: Espio?! Why are you in Beijing?**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Ms. Cream, if you don't mind me being rude…you of all people should especially know why I am in Beijing.**

Well, darn. That meant Cream knew something that Tails didn't.

**Creamy-Buns: Would you please refresh my memory Mr. Espio? ^^**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Well…it's because you informed me of the Secret Society of Ninja Chameleons and their current state. They needed a president. Remember?**

**Creamy-Buns: Oh, yeah.**

?????

**Lilac_Chamelenin: In any case, I cannot find the Society. Are you certain you told me right?**

**Creamy-Buns: Would I ever tell you wrong, Espi-baby?**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: …? Ms. Cream? What's with the nickname?**

**Creamy-Buns: Isn't it obvious, Espio? Forget the Society. I want you!**

Uh-oh. Was that too ambitious?

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Oh…I see. Well if that is the case, why don't you come over to Beijing? Or we can meet somewhere else…**

**Creamy-Buns: No, Beijing is perfect. I'll see you soon! Muah!**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Wait, where would you like to meet up?**

**Creamy-Buns: The International Airport, duh.**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Alright then. I do hope Ms. Vanilla knows what you're doing.**

**Creamy-Buns: Screw that. Like I'd tell Mother!**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Are you sure you are in good mental health, Cream? You aren't…drunk?**

**Creamy-Buns: Nope! (hic)**

**Lilac_Chamelenin: Er…**

**Creamy-Buns: I was just kidding, Espi-baby! I'll see you soon!**

_**Creamy-Buns has disconnected from server.**_

Oh, man. That didn't sound like Cream at all. Would Espio suspect anything?

Suddenly, Tails' cell rang. The number was some foreign thing.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Tails, it's Espio."

What the…?

"I know this is going to sound odd, but I'm in Beijing right now, and I've just been informed that I'm going to date Cream…or something. So I wanted to ask you if it was alright. I know that she's had her eye on you, and you wanted to protect her…"

"Wait, this is coming from the same guy who thought I was taking advantage of her because there was a spider on her back?"

"In all defense, that was Vector's idea."

"Um…OK."

"So, would it be fine if I, you know, saw her?"

"Er…yes?"

"Excellent. I will see you later then."

With that, Espio hung up.

Tails stared at the phone for a long moment. There was a very contorted look on his face. Then, slowly, very slowly, he dialed Cream's number on his cell. The conversation was very short and very polite, in which Tails informed her about taking a surprise vacation to Beijing. There was a blood-curdling scream, then a giant 'YES!', then a dial tone.

Why did it have to be him? Why did Tails get the whack-job crushes?

**Um, yeah…next chapter should be more eventful than this…so…ya'll review if you want. Please no flaming. It makes me sad .**


	6. The Confusion, part one

The airport was booming like it always was. People were always at the airport in Station Square, bustling off to fly up to some hick town to visit Grandma Whoever. Tails had to dodge a few of those unlucky families as he strolled around the lobby, looking for Cream.

The rabbit arrived at the airport soon enough, with luggage strapped on every available place on her body. She smiled happily up at Tails. "Hi Tails!" she squeaked.

Tails waved and smiled slightly. "Hi Cream," he replied, but was soon met with a giant glomp. The fox's face turned purple from lack of oxygen. "Er, if you could put me down, that'd be (hack) wonderful."

Cream realized what she was doing and immediately put Tails down. "I'm sorry," she apologized with her giant brown eyes. "Shall we go catch our flight before it takes off?"

"Yeah, sure," Tails smiled, grabbing his bags. "You have your passport, right?"

"Of course!"

"OK, don't go all rabid on me. Just checking."

Cream crossed her arms and huffed. "Just cuz' rabbits are more likely to get rabies doesn't mean that rabid jokes are funny, Tails."

The fox stopped walking and furrowed his brow internally. _What?! I wasn't making fun of rab—_

"Hey! We'd better run so we can catch our flight!" Cream's high-pitched voice snapped Tails from his thoughts. He smiled.

"Er, right."

The two ran for flight 33-A. Little did they know, though, that something was going to be very, very wrong.

Tails and Cream didn't pay much attention as they ran through the gate and shoved their tickets at the flight attendant. All they knew was that the flight was taking off in about five minutes and if they didn't steal the first-class seats from the no-shows, then they wouldn't get any good snacks.

Tails settled into his seat rather comfortably and dug his MP3 player out of his man-purse. Well, really it was a shoulder bag, but Sonic always teased him about it. Cream did the same, but instead of a dinky MP3 she had a snazzy new iPod Touch. Tails ogled at the electronic device and how much more advanced it was than his own.

It was because Tails was listening to "Wild Challenger" and Cream was listening to "Kirai Tune" that the two didn't hear what the flight attendant was saying.

***********************

Tails woke up about 15 minutes later when he realized his MP3 had stopped playing because the list had ended. He was about to hit the play button to start over the shuffle but he stopped when he saw the food tray being rolled up next to him.

A nice squirrel stewardess smiled at him. "Would you like something to eat or drink, sir?"

"Don't mind if I do," Tails sang, snatching a couple of warm, gooey cookies and a Diet Coke. He was popping open the tab when the stewardess spoke to him.

"You know, you might not want to gulp that down too quickly. There won't be very long to use the restroom before all passengers are required to stay in their seats."

"What do you mean?" Tails asked. "I thought we had at least 3 hours."

The stewardess giggled. "Well, it doesn't take THAT long to get to Toledo."

The twin-tailed fox nearly choked up the Diet Coke he was drinking. TOLEDO?! No, that couldn't be right! Tails watched the squirrel walk away, but not before snatching up her phone and texting stupid rumors to whatever weird friends she had. Were cell phones even supposed to be on during a flight?

Those stewardesses were always stupid. She was probably having a blonde moment.

Munching on a cookie, Tails punched the play button on his MP3 and quickly fell back asleep.

***************************

Tails woke up again by Cream nudging him. She smiled and brushed the hair out of his face. "We're landing," she told him softly. The fox yawned and put his MP3 player back in his man-purse—I mean, bag.

The plane landed without much problem, and Tails and Cream excitedly ran inside. It was time to lose another psycho chick that was stalking the fox!

The first problem occurred whenever Tails and Cream walked inside the airport. Nothing looked out of place of out of ordinary; the only that was weird was that they could both read the signs. If the airport was in China, why would the text be English?

The next problem occurred when all the people in the airport were American. Why would the majority of the people in the airport be Caucasian when it was located in China?

The third problem occurred when Cream looked out the window confusingly and saw nothing but fields and cows. Wait, there was one more tiny dot in the giant fields; a sign that read "Welcome to Ohio!"

The last problem occurred whenever a high-pitched, squeaky started screaming across the airport. Tails jerked his head over to see a yellow-and-black ball charging for them full-force.

"Hi Tails! Hi Cream!!" Charmy Bee cried.

This. Wasn't. Good.

**Hahaha! Ooooh, a cliffy! Sorry this isn't very long, or not as long as it should be. If it helps, the next chapter will be a two parter to this one! Yayz! And tomorrow's the last day of school, so I'll be able to post stuff even more often than once a week. Yippee!!**


	7. The Confusion, part two

"CHARMY?!"

Tails and Cream ogled at the bee in front of them at the same time. "Charmy? What the heck are you doing here?" Tails demanded from the energetic bee, who looked enthralled at the moment.

Cream furrowed her brow, but gasped lightly as she suddenly remembered something. Charmy looked curiously at Tails and Cream. "Well, wouldn't you guys know why I'm here?" he asked. "Cream told me that there were cookies here, in Toledo. And guess what, Creamy?" Charmy removed a large plate from behind his back to reveal a dozen steaming-hot cookies.

Tails slowly turned to look at Cream, who looked very bashful at the moment. "Cream…what did you DO?!" Cream's lower lip trembled, and she shrunk closer to the ground.

"Hey, Tails!" Charmy demanded to the fox, floating over to Cream. "You're upsetting her! I'm sure you guys didn't MEAN to come to Toledo!" The bee put a comforting hand on Cream's shoulder. "Hey, it's OK, Cream. We just need to pick up Espio and Vector and we can be a family again!"

Cream suddenly stood up and glared at Charmy. "No!" she squeaked. "I'm sick of being a 'family' when it means I can't step foot out in the open for months on end! I don't want protection from the Screwball Detective Agency 24/7!"

Charmy stared at Cream with a funny expression. "Screwball?" he asked with wonder. "Who are they? Are they in partnership with the Chaotix?"

Tails calmly strode over to the nearest pole and started banging his head on it.

_Well,_ he thought. _This is just turning out wonderful. We have the mother of all idiots mixed in with Ms. Innocence, who has apparently started to turn into Ms. Not-So-Innocent. _Tails took his head off the pole and leaned against it, trying to think. _Still, I need to get rid of Cream and pair her up with someone that she'll love. Her and Charmy are alike, right? Well, whenever they're not fighting, but still. It just might work…_

"Hey guys!" Tails suddenly interrupted the argument between Cream and Charmy. "I just got the perfect idea! How about instead of fighting all day, we go out someplace to eat! I'm starving, and I'm sure you two are too…"

Charmy blushed as his stomach growled.

"See?" Tails said with a smile. "Cream, let's check into a hotel and we'll have Charmy take us to a great restaurant. OK?"

Cream's brown eyes shifted from her 'boyfriend' to her 'boy friend' and she sighed in defeat. "Well, OK," she said.

Tails grinned as Cream started to follow Charmy out of the airport. Maybe things would turn out alright after all.

**************************************

"Well, here's the place!"

Tails and Cream stared at the restaurant that Charmy had led them to…if you could call it that. A more appropriate name would probably be 'pub'.

"Do you go here often?" Tails asked the hyper bee, trying to remember how old he was. He was four years younger than himself, so if he was 15…that would make him 11.

Charmy grinned triumphantly. "Yup!" he replied. Tails wasn't so worried about Charmy, since he probably ingested lots of caffeinated substances daily anyway; he was worried more about Cream, who probably had never as much as a sip of alcohol.

Cream seemed to read Tails' mind and smiled. "Oh, don't worry Tails," she said softly. "I'll just order some food, and I'll get a bottle of water somewhere."

Charmy led to two into the pub, and they narrowly dodged a flaming football aimed at their heads. Tails gawked at the person who threw it, who was obviously too drunk for his own tastes.

The three sat down at a booth as a waiter bustled over with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. "And what can I get ya'll to drink?" she asked.

"Umm, I'll have some water," Tails said, hoping that Cream would follow his lead. The waitress winked at the fox.

"Not feeling hot tonight?" she asked as she wrote down the order. Tails blushed and muttered a no as he flipped through the menu.

"Margarita!" Charmy sang. The waitress chuckled to herself as she scribbled down the name. Cream ordered water as well.

Tails flipped through the menu with wide eyes, trying to find something…anything…that wasn't beer battered. Finally, he landed on the steak menu and decided to order a 7 oz. sirloin. Cream furrowed her brow as she tried to find something to eat.

"What are you having, Charmy?" the rabbit asked in her innocent voice.

Charmy grinned. "I'm having the chicken!" he announced. Then he grinned sheepishly. "But it's kinda a lot. Will you share it with me?"

Cream ponderd a moment, then smiled. "Well, OK, might as well save some money. Right Tails?" Both sets of eyes settled on the fox. Tails seemed to read their expressions.

"Wait, so suddenly I have to pay for this?" he demanded, but he didn't have long to protest before the waitress came back and took everyone's orders. She also brought everyone's drinks.

Charmy blew softly on his margarita to cool it off. Tails stuck up an eyebrow. 11 years old, and this kid already knew how to drink some alcohol. What had the Chaotix been teaching him?

Then the bee looked across the table to Cream. "Would you like a sip?" he asked politely, offering the glass to her. Cream stared at the fizzy drink for a moment before finally giving in.

"Well, a tiny sip won't hurt," she assured herself and took one little drink of the margarita.

**ONE HOUR LATER**

"OK, uh, Cream, I'm going to be leaving now…"

Cream smiled at Tails as she held her fifth margarita in her hand. "Aww, are you sure?" she asked calmly. Despite all the drinks she had, Cream was actually very much in control of herself.

Charmy, on the other hand, was insane. He literally bounced off the walls. "Yeah, c'mon Tails, we should go play some games! We could ride around on the little carts they carry stuff on at the hotel! We could eat all the breakfast food before they even serve it! It would be AWESOME!"

Tails grinned as best he could at the two. "Er, no…um, Cream, do you want to stay here with Charmy?" The fox knew that Espio would soon become very curious about Cream's sudden disappearance, and would recruit Vector and hunt the two down.

Cream hiccupped, which was the first sign she'd displayed all night that even indicated she might have had something to drink. "Sure," she replied, her innocence still sparking in her voice.

With that, Tails went back to the hotel, grabbed his things, and hurried to the airport for the first flight home. He was tired of having all these insane dates following him, and he wanted to get rid of the other two as quickly as he could.

**Well, how was it? Yeah, I know, kind of a blunt ending, but I know that you guys were probably hungry for another chapter…so here it is. I've put up another story, but it shouldn't get in the way of me updating this one.**


	8. Important! Please Read

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTICE FOR WHO'S REALLY MRS. PROWER…**

**Hey dudes, Hypo Prower here. As you may have noticed, Tails has now successfully eliminated both Fiona Fox and Cream Rabbit from his 'brides to be' list, and is now moving on to the final two: Cosmo and Marine Raccoon. **

**So here's my dilemma (and yes, it contains spoilers): next, Tails is going to check up on Cosmo's profile on eHarmony, and I have absolutely no idea what to do with her. Here's what I'm asking from my fellow readers: if you have ANY OC's or ANY SONIC CHARACTERS that you think would be right for Cosmo, please stick it in a review for this chapter. I hate to do this to you all, because I've been trying so hard to write this on my own, but I desperately need help. And no, if you want to submit some sort of shojo-ai relationship, it will NOT BE USED.**

**Here's the other thing: I've just been suddenly informed that I'm going on a weekend excursion to my relative's, so I can't write anything this weekend. Nor can I submit anything that's already done. Sorry dudes.**

**So here we go. I'll be back and kickin' on Monday, so I'll check my reviews then. You got 3 days. I will thank you in the next chapter if I use your OC/idea. Thanks so much again, guys, and I really appreciate all the reviews I'm getting.**


	9. Back Up Plan

**First off, before I start this chapter, I want to thank each and every one of you who submitted OCs and the like just for me ! I feel so special…:) You guys have topped my reviews even higher than Mario and Sonic, which is, like, my longest story. A very, very special thank you to Yosep, who created an OC JUST for this purpose! I have contacted the person who's submission I ended up using, but once again, I thank every single one of you. Please keep reading my fan fics and reviewing those stories! It's you guys that I write for.**

**Now, on with chapter…8, I think?**

Tails collapsed into his office chair that was sitting nearby his computer desk. It had been a long flight back from Toledo, but at least Cream was finally out of his hair.

Suddenly, his phone rang, which greatly surprised him. He picked up and spoke into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Yes, Tails, this is Espio."

Tails gulped as he suddenly remembered that Cream was supposed to be in Beijing right now, living it up with Espio. The fox rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, yeah, hey there."

"May I ask where Cream may be at the moment?" the chameleon asked with a spark of irritation in his voice. Tails fidgeted with a random piece of paper on the computer desk.

"Well, there's a funny story behind this…she's in Toledo. With Charmy."

"CHARMY?!" Espio bellowed, then immediately hung up.

Tails stared at the phone for a brief moment before slowly hanging it up. That wasn't important right now. He began dialing up his internet connection and waited for his rather advanced computer to get connected to the internet. _Stupid dial up, _he thought harshly as Google took 5 seconds to load.

Without pausing, the fox logged onto eHarmony and poised his mouse over the log in screen. Who should he try to ship away next? Would it be Marine or Cosmo? Well, as he had decided before, he wanted to wait as long as possible to try to drag Marine on a moving object. Cosmo would be next.

Tails quickly logged in as Cosmo and checked her watchers. He was, in fact, very surprised to find that one of the watchers was named 'TwinTailsGenius'. Curious, he clicked on the profile, and much to his surprise, he found that it was Miles, the anti version of himself!

He wasted no time to connect to a chat.

_**Entering chat: Cosmic_Gyrl**_

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Hey baby.**

**TwinTailsGenius: What the…? Tails, I know that's you.**

Tails stopped dead over the keyboard. How the heck did Miles know it was him??

**TwinTailsGenius: Look, you think I didn't notice when Fiona hooked up with Scourge? I'm not stupid, and it would take only a genius to make those two talk to each other. Well, an idiotic genius, but a genius all the same.**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Fine, you caught me. What do you want? Why are you watching Cosmo's profile?**

**TwinTailsGenius: Because…maybe I think she's hot.**

Tails almost had a coronary as he busted out laughing. It was hard for him to type around the giggles.

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Thays teh sthugpicsnt thngls Ibr ever hefrd!! **_**(A/N Translation: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard)**_

**TwinTailsGenius: Stop laughing and type legibly! **

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Sorry. So why the heck do you think I would hand over someone so innocent to a bad guy like you?**

**TwinTailsGenius: 'Bad Guy'? Weren't you paying attention to Fiona? I'm not with Scourge anymore.**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: You're not??**

**TwinTailsGenius: Of course not. I refused to work for Mammoth Mogul, as did the rest of the Anti-Freedom Fighters. And 'bad guy' isn't what I am, it's what I do.**

Tails stared at the screen for a moment. He wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that.

**TwinTailsGenius: Besides, I feel for you. I've never had many… "Fan Girls", but I have lots of experience with annoying. If you would like to work together, I'll tell you my plan.**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: OK, shoot.**

**TwinTailsGenius: OK…we're going to rendezvous somewhere. Once that happens, you will lead Cosmo through a giant crowd. She will get lost, and the first twin-tailed fox she sees will be yours truly. Afterwards, I will offer to help her get back home, but she will fall in love with me and never want to go back!**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Fall in love? How can you guarantee?**

**TwinTailsGenius: I have my ways…(cackles evilly)**

Tails thought for a moment about Miles' plan. It DID make sense, and it would get Cosmo off his back. He wasn't sure exactly how Cosmo would 'fall in love' with his anti, but apparently she would. Well, why not?

**Cosmic_Gyrl: OK, you have yourself a deal.**

**TwinTailsGenius: Excellent. Where do you want to meet?**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: Somewhere far away, where you'll have lots of time.**

**TwinTailsGenius: How about Casino Night? There are always lots of people there playing the slots.**

**Cosmic_Gyrl: OK, sounds good. I will see you then.**

_**Cosmic_Gyrl has disconnected from chat server.**_

Tails logged off the internet and leaned back in his chair. Man, was he skeptic about this whole thing. I mean, this was MILES he was talking about. Would he really take care of Cosmo and treat her right?

The fox thought back to when they were in space and how upset he was to sacrifice her life for the planet. Would he really want to give her away to Miles?

Then Tails thought harder, and realized that Miles was born in his image. He would at least have SOME of the same personality (although he hadn't seen it displayed yet). He would just have to trust that Cosmo would be fine in his hands.

He picked up the phone and dialed Cosmo's number. She answered on the first ring.

"Hey, Cosmo," Tails greeted. "Yeah, you remember how I said I was taking everyone on a little adventure?"

"I remember," Cosmo replied. Then her voice perked up. "Are you taking me somewhere?"

"Yup," Tails answered. "In fact, we're going to Casino Night!"

There was a pause on the other end, and Tails wondered if he had said something wrong. "Actually, I've never gambled," Cosmo said, her voice becoming a little worried.

Tails chuckled. "Nah, it's easy. Besides, if you don't wanna play the slots, we can just get some food."

"Alright then," Cosmo said happily. "What time are you picking me up?"

"Tonight, around 4 so we can get there at 6," Tails responded, taking into account that Station Square was two hours away from Casino Night.

"Sounds good. I will see you tonight." Then Cosmo hung up.

As Tails leaned back in the chair again, he glanced at his computer. This WAS Miles he was talking about. The super genius who had, at least at one point, worked with one of the most evil villains on Mobius—or Moebius, as it's called.

What would happen tonight was anyone's guess.

**Yikes! Miles! Thanks so much to MasterMetallix (did I spell that right?) for suggesting that. I hadn't even really thought about anyone but Tails ever going with Cosmo, but after he said that, I got the best idea for this chapter. And yes, I know I'm two days late, but my weekend excursion turned into a mid-week excursion. But it's here now! Please tell me what you thought.**


	10. Cosmo and The Casino

"So this is Casino Night?"

Cosmo and Tails grasped hands as they stared around at the crowds that surrounded them. It was about 6pm, and the place was absolutely packed. Different people screamed at random as they won the slots or played a good hand at poker.

Tails gripped tighter to Cosmo's hand. He didn't want to give off the impression that the two were dating, but he didn't want to lose his alien friend—not for NOW, at least.

The twin-tailed fox darted his gaze from person to person. Where in the world was Miles? He was supposed to be here, right?

Cosmo smiled weakly at Tails. She looked like she was ready to pass out. "C-can we please get something to eat and wait for the crowd to die down?" she muttered. "I'm claustrophobic."

Tails edged away slightly. Ugh. Alien vomit. "OK, sure," he replied, and led her out of the bulk of the crowd and into a restaurant called _The Lucky Card._

Once there, Tails and Cosmo seated themselves and began flipping through the menu. Tails looked up warily at Cosmo, as she seriously looked like she was going to toss her cookies. "Are you alright?" the fox asked, placing his menu on the table. Cosmo hiccupped and nodded.

"Yes, just not used to the environment, I guess."

Both picked up their menus at that point to try and find something to eat. Tails rested his face on his gloved palm and looked around the restaurant anxiously. If Miles didn't get here soon, he was going to be in big trouble.

"What are you looking for, Tails?" Cosmo's quiet voice snapped Tails out of his thoughts. He smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, uh, no one in particular," he stuttered out. The alien smiled and lowered her eyelids some.

"You know, it's great to finally have dinner with each other," she cooed. "Ever since I met you, I couldn't take my eyes off you, you know…"

Tails hid his face in his menu as his pupils dilated. The fox gulped. Oh, no. Here came the guilt trip. He had been through so much to save Cosmo whenever they met in space, and now he was about to trade her off to a villain.

Before Tails could talk anymore, Cosmo got up from her seat. "I'm going to the restroom," she told him, and walked off to the back of the building. Tails watched her go as guilty thoughts still floated through his brain. _Should I really—_

"Tails!"

It took everything he had to keep himself from screaming. Miles suddenly slid into the chair that Cosmo had been sitting in just moments ago.

Tails growled, "What the heck are you trying to do, give me a coronary??"

"Shut up!" Miles hissed. "Just calm down. I'm here, see?"

And Miles had indeed arrived at Casino Night. His appearance was almost identical to that of Tails; the only differences were his shoes, which were instead the boots he normally wore, and his hair, which had the same style as Tails', but was gray instead of orange.

Tails stared at his anti in shock. He was almost too stunned to say anything because it was like looking into a mirror. "Holy snot!" he cried, in spite of himself.

Miles reached across the table and slapped his mouth over Tails'. "Sssh, you're drawing attention!" he whispered harshly as a few animals stared at the two in curiosity. Tails removed Miles' hand from his mouth and sighed.

"OK," he replied. "How are we going to go about doing this?"

"I have the perfect plan," Miles grinned as he snapped. "When the waiter brings drinks, you dump her beverage on her and run to get some paper towels. Then I'LL come back with them, and I'll lead her to my house!"

"Yeah," Tails rolled his eyes. "Look, how can you be sure she's going to fall in love with you?"

Miles wiggled his eyebrows cunningly. "Why wouldn't she? Besides, I'm practically you!"

Tails studied his copy for a few moments, lost in thought. Well, he was right, wasn't he?

Suddenly, the two gasped as Cosmo started making her way back to the table. "Quick, hide!" Tails ordered, and Miles was quick to oblige. Cosmo reclaimed her seat and smiled at the twin-tailed fox.

"Now, where were we?" she asked sweetly. However, Tails was once again interrupted as a waiter suddenly arrived at the table.

"Drinks?" he asked, whipping out a note pad. They both ordered water, and started flipping through the menu to find something to eat.

"I'm having steak," Cosmo told Tails. That sounded good to him, too.

"Yeah, me too," Tails replied. Then he put his menu down and rested his face on his palm again. Cosmo was quiet as well, leaving a very awkward silence.

The waiter couldn't have come sooner. After he handed each their water, he took their orders and left in a hurry.

Tails studied his brimming glass of water. It was ice cold. Was he really going to dump this on Cosmo just to get her out of his hair?

Just before the fox could pick up his water, though, he looked over and saw Cosmo getting queasy. "I-I don't feel so well," she moaned. Tails got up out of his seat to go and feel her forehead, only to have the green alien turn her head and barf all over him.

"EW!" Tails screeched as he gazed in horror at the red vomit that now covered his muzzle. "Cosmo, is that blood?!"

Cosmo frowned weakly. "N-no, my puke is just red," she replied. "Oh dear, Tails, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm gonna get some paper towels," Tails called and dashed to the men's room. He got a paper towel wet and started to wipe off the vomit, almost puking himself from the smell that came off it.

After all the puke (but not the stain) was gone, Tails discarded the paper towels and walked out of the bathroom. He was almost to his table when he noticed that Miles had in fact taken his place at the table! The plan was still on after all!

Tails hurriedly ducked behind a nearby chair and caught Miles' attention. The fox winked and Tails nodded. Silently, he said good bye to Cosmo, and walked out of the restaurant.

The drive back home was rather quiet, but Tails needed it to think. So, now that Cosmo was out of the way, there was only two things to do.

The first was to figure out what to do with Marine.

The second was to get some oxy clean and get that red stain off his muzzle.

**Was I ripping off **_**Who's Mrs. Prower? **_**whenever I had Cosmo puking on Tails? I don't think so…anyway! Tell me what you think, OK?**


	11. To Downunda We Go!

"Well…that's new."

Tails stared at the eHarmony screen when he was logged on as Marine. Was something offensive about Marine? He could think of nothing, but that didn't stop Marine from only having one watcher. Upon closer inspection, he realized that this particular user had been one of the first watchers on every single one of the girls' profiles.

Unfortunately, that person was an armadillo that wore thick rimmed glasses, had major buck teeth and a username called 'StarTrekRocksMySocks'. Nope, he wasn't pairing up Marine with some nerd.

Tails sighed and leaned back in his office chair. Darnit! Why did all the other girls have like a gazillion watchers and poor little Marine just had some nerd stalker armadillo?!

That wasn't going to be a good thing. Now what exactly was he going to do with his raccoon friend? He couldn't just leave her hanging like that. She hadn't forgotten that he promised to take each of them on a trip, and she would begin to wonder if Tails was lying to her.

Suddenly, the twin-tailed fox got an idea. Why not instead of taking Marine to some guy that he hardly knew, he could take her to a place where she would fit in—Downunda! Every person there spoke with an Aussie accent. It would be perfect.

Tails disconnected from the internet and picked up his cell. He dialed Marine's number and waited for someone to pick up.

"G'day," she said into the receiver. Tails smiled at her familiar voice, grateful she wasn't on some other big excursion.

"Hey Marine," he replied casually. "Hey, remember how I promised all you girls that we'd go on a trip together?"

There was a pause. "Ah mate, yer mean those other sheilas? R'they still even alive? Oi haven't seen 'im in yonks."

Tails found it hard to understand Marine's speech around her accent. "Yes, those other…sheilas."

"Oi dan't wanna go on a trip wi' 'im!" Marine whined. "Oi hate just abat every one of 'im!" Tails chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"No, Marine, you aren't going on a trip with them," he replied. "You're going on a trip with me."

Another short pause.

"Wahahahahahahaha!" Marine laughed. "'at's a good one! Hahahahaha!"

"What are you laughing at?" Tails demanded, feeling a blush come to his cheeks. What did he say that was so funny?

Marine stopped laughing before she answered. "YOU? Go on a trip with ME? 'ave yer ever tried ta travel with me, mate? 'cause the geezers that do dan't come back happy."

Tails wasn't sure how to respond to that. Geezers…? "Um, well, that's OK. I'll deal with it…" He stopped talking because Marine busted out laughing again. The fox began to get agitated.

"Alright, listen up! We're going to Downunda whether you like it or not!"

There was a pause before Marine screamed. "Downunda! Really, mate?! Oi've always wanted ta go ta Downunda…"

Tails smiled. "Good. Then I'll meet you at your place in a little while, OK?"

The fox flattened his ears against the receiver as Marine gave out another scream of joy. "Ta-ta!" she yelled at the phone and slammed it down on the receiver.

Tails stared at the phone and put it down. Sllooooowwwwlllyyy.

**Yup, I know. Short chapter. It's because this time Tails didn't chat with anyone on eHarmony. I haven't decided for sure yet, but I'm pretty sure next chapter will be the last one. Makes sense, right? Well, have a good day. And most importantly, REVIEW!! Oh, and if you are a Naruto fan, would you please vote on the poll on my profile? PLEEEEASE??**


	12. Everything Backfires

Tails cautiously poised his fist in front of the door. It was Marine's door, actually. He had his suitcase packed, his plane tickets and passport tucked in his back pocket, and his sanity some-what still intact. He was ready to go to Downunda with Marine Raccoon.

He was cautious, though, about knocking on the door. Sure, this was the last girl he had that was even remotely still interested in dating him. And, yes, he would be happy to be rid of all the awkward and crazy fan girls. But something inside him was making him reconsider.

Marine was it. Who else was there, now?

Cream used to be it. She was quiet and pleasant, and seemed to take a liking to Tails when they first met. He naturally assumed that one day or another, the two would start dating. He didn't know if it would work out, but Sonic and Amy would shove him into the relationship, nonetheless.

Then Fiona was it. Ah, dear, sweet Fiona. Fiona had been the one that Tails had fallen for whenever he decided to go out on his own, but he soon discovered that she was a robot. When things began to work out, and the real Fiona started dating Sonic, Tails could only dream of the day that they would hook up.

Then Cosmo was it. Everyone aboard the X Tornado knew without a shadow of a doubt that Tails and Cosmo would start dating. Tails cared deeply for the alien, and Cosmo did the same for him. Whenever the universe was at stake and the planet needed to be destroyed, Tails couldn't bear to lose her. Luckily, the seed appeared, and eventually gave 'birth' to the new Cosmo, which was the very being that he had paired with his anti form.

But now they were gone. And Marine was all he had.

Sure, the raccoon wasn't his perfect idea of a date. She was loud. She was bossy. She was sometimes obnoxious. She spoke with that ridiculous and obviously fake accent. Then again…she at least wasn't angry at him. Tails didn't have to lock his door at night to make sure she didn't get in and try to kill him for pairing her up with some stranger she wasn't fond of and/or hated.

So, it was when Marine opened the door to her house/giant ship that was bobbing awkwardly in the sea that Tails began to reconsider all the things he had done.

"Hey, mate!" she greeted cheerfully, pulling a suitcase behind her. "Ready ta get th' motor runnin'?"

Tails assumed that this meant "Want to get going?" The fox pondered a moment, trying to think of something to put his mind at ease.

While he was thinking (which was making Marine confused), Marine looked over his shoulder and frowned. "Er, mate? Oi thought ya said that we weren't travellin' with th' other sheilas."

"Huh?" Tails snapped from his thoughts. "We aren't. Why?"

"Well, then why are they runnin' towards us, madder 'n a pack of hornets?"

Tails' pupils dilated. He felt a bead of sweat crawl down his neck as he slowly turned around. Oh dear. This didn't look good at all.

Approaching Tails and Marine were Cosmo, Cream, and Fiona. All three looked very, very angry. Fiona's red tail was poofed out, Cream's tiny fists were quivering with fury, and Cosmo wore an expression that could throttle somebody if looks could kill.

"Hey, buddy," Fiona said sarcastically, pausing in front of Tails. She crossed her arms. "Does THIS look familiar to you?"

The red fox held out a sheet of paper she had printed off the internet. Tails nervously took it and realized much to his horror that it was her eHarmony profile. "Uh…no?" he squeaked.

Cream sneered and handed him another sheet of paper that was her profile. "Gosh, really?" she asked. "Because this happens to look a lot like hers does."

"And this," Cosmo snapped, holding out her profile.

Tails shakily glanced from one sheet to the next. He realized that each profile did happen to look pretty similar. _I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdead…_ he recited in his brain.

Marine studied the scene with curiosity in her blue eyes. Then she narrowed them and slammed her suitcase down on the dock. "Oi, then 'r we goin' ta Downunda just cuz some geezer requested to on MY profile?" she demanded, stomping around the fox and joining the others.

Tails stared at all of their furious faces. Why couldn't a black hole just swallow him up right then and there?

Finally, he just broke down and slumped to his knees. "I'm sorry!" he cried, begging for mercy. "It was just too much! The whining, the cooing, the nagging, the mooching…I couldn't take it! I'm just a BOY, for crying out loud!"

Cream started to get a little nervous and hid slightly behind Cosmo's skirt. Fiona's gaze turned a little softer. Marine's pupils widened at his pathetic display, and Cosmo's angry frown had turned into a sad frown.

"He's so CUTE!"

Tails' head shot up and he opened his eyes. "WHAT?!" he demanded, and was cut off as all the girls 'aww'ed' around him. Fiona squealed.

"Don't do that, Tails! I can't take it! It's just so adorable when you pout!"

Tails stared absently at the red fox. "It's…'cute'…when I…pout." _I wasn't even pouting, I was begging for mercy!_

Cosmo held out her hand to Tails, her anger already dissolving. "Come on, get up here," she said. Tails accepted and stood up, still wearing a bewildered expression.

Cream's eyes turned very big. "Tails, you could have just asked us to back off a little," she suggested, her voice high.

"Yeah, mate," Marine put in. "It wasn't very fair o' us ta drag ya in th' middle of our duke-fest, was it?"

Tails stared funnily at the younger of the two. Well, that was rather logical for a couple of nine-year-olds.

Cosmo grinned at the orange fox. "Yeah, what Marine said," she said. "We're sorry. We understand why you did what you did, I guess."

Fiona smirked and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, kid." Then her eyes turned bitter again. "But we're still kind of mad."

"I figured that," Tails chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. _Snap, I'm not off the hook yet!_ Then he remembered something and looked curiously at Cosmo, Cream and Fiona. "Speaking of which, how come you guys left your, um…dream dates?"

Fiona's eyes narrowed. "Scourge hasn't changed a bit!" she spat. "After you left, we went back to his place only to find Alicia, Buns and Rosy in his apartment! I was so angry that I walked out right then and there, not wanting to hear any more of his pathetic excuses."

"Well, Charmy…" Cream began, closing her eyes and chuckling in amusement for a moment. "He can, well, wear on your nerves after a little while. His voice gets a little grating…sometimes. And then he was going to take me to meet up with the Chaotix again, so I ran away. Luckily I had Mother's credit card, so I bought another plane ticket and flew back home."

Tails raised an eyebrow. "Your mom gave you her credit card?"

Cream chuckled. "Gave…borrowed…all the same thing."

Cosmo rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "Honestly, Tails, I can see why Miles is your anti version. He's absolutely nothing like you! He's greedy, full of himself, selfish, bossy, rude, and just plain not a good person to hang around with."

Tails scuffed his shoe. "I'm really sorry, everyone," he apologized again. Marine crossed her arms and gave him a mean look.

"Yer lucky yer didn't take me on a 'vacation', mate," she informed. Tails chuckled sheepishly again, blushing.

"I guess I am."

Tails then grinned and looked around at all the girls, who seemed to be in a happier mood. "Right, then I guess this is all worked out then, right?" he said, hoping that the whole matter would draw to an end. Everyone nodded and grabbed a part of Tails.

"Yeah, you're coming home with me!" they all said in unison, walking in different directions. Tails winced as his body was pulled in four different directions, and each of the girls stopped abruptly and turned around to stare at each other.

"And just what do you mean by that?" they all growled at the same time before leaping into a chick fight, complete with pulling hair, screaming, and scratching.

Tails stared at the heap of girls before turning around and walking away slowly, sighing.

_Girls._

**Don't worry guys…it's not over yet…**


	13. Bonus! A Sticky Situation

**As I told you guys, it wasn't over yet. The main story, yes, has come to a close. Unless you guys want ANOTHER sequel (though I'm kind of stuck for ideas at the moment). But just because everyone has been so nice and helpful in all the reviews, I'm adding a BONUS CHAPTER! This is just something silly and random to end out the story. I hope you enjoy.**

**And whoever reviewed wanting me to put Chuck Norris in, this one is for you.**

* * *

Tails was strolling through the park, enjoying the nice summer weather. It was kind of hot, the temperature being in the mid 80's, but he didn't mind. All that mattered was that he was spending the day by himself, gazing at all the children playing and the birds chirping.

It was when the twin-tailed fox walked close enough to see who was sitting on the nearest bench that he wished he was back home.

It was none other than Fiona, dressed in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, obviously growing hot in her all-black regular outfit. Tails attempted to duck behind a kid running past him, but that only scored him some odd and angry stares from parents.

"Hey!" Fiona called to Tails, waving and smiling. "Didn't expect to see you here, sweetheart!"

"Um, yeah," Tails called nervously back, cautiously approaching the red vixen. "Me neither…"

Fiona grabbed his wrists and shoved him down next to her on the bench. She winked at him with her blue eyes flashing. "So, what's new?"

Tails fidgeted with a splinter on the bottom of the bench. "Oh, not much, you know…just working on my new plane…"

"What's it called?" Fiona interrupted, trying too hard to be interested in Tails' new inventions.

The fox babbled on to his companion, all the while thinking _I have GOT to get out of here!_ He ended the conversation abruptly once he realized that the ice cream cart was passing by. "Um, OK, I'll see you later," he said suddenly, and jumped up.

Only to be dragged right back down, with his hand attached to the bottom of the bench.

_What the…?_ Tails thought frantically as he tried to pull his hand out from under the bench. It was stuck. Upon further inspection (and much to his horror), he discovered that his glove was stuck to a sticky wad of gum!

Inside, he screamed like a little girl at whatever germs could be leaving that wad of gum and entering his flesh through his glove. Fiona gasped when Tails couldn't remove his hand, then she started giggling. "Aw, man, did you get your hand stuck on that wad of gum I just stuck under there?"

Tails froze. It was even worse. It was FIONA spit!

The fox closed his eyes and moaned, once again bewildered by his constant bad luck. Suddenly, he felt a shadow over his face, and he looked up to see Cosmo standing over him, a silly grin planted on her lips and her hands on her hips (**A/N: Ha ha, I made a rhyme!**). She couldn't stop from doubling over in laughter.

"N-need a hand?" she choked out. Tails rolled his eyes, and, in spite of himself, couldn't stop from snickering.

"I don't think it'll do much good," he admitted, tugging at his hand again.

Fiona stood up with an annoyed expression on her face, obviously a little annoyed that Cosmo would ruin their moment. "Hey, back off plant girl," she warned, prodding Cosmo's chest. "It's not Tails' fault that he got his cute little self stuck to a bench."

Cosmo stopped laughing and glared back at the red fox. "I never said it was, Fiona," she spat back, making her tone mocking on the word 'Fiona'. "I was just laughing with Tails, not at him."

"That's not what I heard," Fiona growled.

Tails was a little alarmed by how close Fiona's foot was to his ear, which was lying in the grass with the rest of his head. "L-ladies," he said nervously, wanting desperately to pull away but couldn't.

"That's IT!"

Tails yelped as Cosmo leapt at Fiona, who in turn backed away and stepped directly on Tails' ear. The fox all but screamed.

"OW!" He cried, and rubbed his ear with his free hand. No one else stepped on him for awhile, but it was rather unnerving doing absolutely nothing to try and get away when a chick fight was in commence right next to his face.

"Stop it!" A tiny, familiar voice suddenly squeaked. "What are you two doing?!"

Fiona and Cosmo stopped trying to kill each other and stared at Cream. Their expressions resembled something like 'getting caught in the act as a cameraman from a tabloid magazine takes their picture'.

Tails curiously watched Cream as she stared in wonder at the two girls. "Before you start fighting, tell me what you're fighting about," she requested.

"Fiona's mad at me for laughing at Tails because his hand got stuck on a wad of gum," Cosmo explained, gesturing over to the fox, who at that point was trying to gnaw his arms off. He only knew things were going to get worse.

"That's awful!" Cream gasped. "I wouldn't start laughing at YOU if you got your hand stuck to gum, Cosmo!"

Fiona smiled and pointed at Cream. "See?" she bragged to the alien. "I told you I was right."

Tails continued to watch the three girls argue for a few moments. In the back of his head, he thought he felt someone staring at him. Slowly, he turned around and was face-to-face with Marine, who had crawled under the bench.

"Whaddya doin' under here, mate?"

The fox cried out in alarm, causing everyone's attention to turn to him. Marine, at that point, busted out laughing, rolling on the ground, tears spilling out of her eyes. Cosmo gave Fiona a cocky smile as she observed the raccoon.

"I told you that it was funny," she argued. Fiona growled and Cream ran up beside her.

"C'mon, Cream! Let's show Ms. High-and-Mighty that good girls play nice!"

Cosmo grabbed Marine's wrist and dragged her over by her side. "Let's fight for our right to laugh as we please, Marine!" she said triumphantly.

The four girls collided in a heap, causing Tails to have major déjà vu.

The fox sat there for a moment, his hand still stuck to the bench. _This is just great,_ he thought sarcastically.

Suddenly, there was a scream that echoed throughout the entire park. Everyone got out of the way, including the four fighting girls, as Chuck Norris blasted his way through. He stopped right in front of Tails and forcefully yanked his hand out of the gum, called him a wimp, crushed his arm with a roundhouse kick and sent him flying.

Tails flew off into the air, everything becoming peacefully quiet. It was in the calm that he realized something.

_I could've just taken off my glove._

* * *

**And, there you have it! The end of Who's Mrs. Prower! Like I said, if the demand is high enough, I GUESS I can try to write out some sort of sequel, making the whole thing a trilogy…but right now I'm stuck for ideas. Help…?**

**Anyway, tell me your final thoughts on this. I'd love to hear all your comments. Thanks a bundle for all the support. You guys rock!**


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